Lindsey D. Alexander is the author of the poetry collection, Rodeo in Reverse, forthcoming from Hub City Press in 2018. Her poetry has appeared in the Southern Review, Waxwing, Arts & Letters, and Devil’s Lake, where her work won a 2015 Driftless Prize. She produces Story of My Life, a podcast that features guests over the age of seventy. She lives in Oak Ridge, Tennessee.
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The Dream and a Shame
I was an observer: my own student
and my best teacher
in the forest working the lyrics together.
There were bees in his beard,
in a good way.
She cupped his chin: this
was platonic and also the source
of some honey. He fed her
two lines he had kept inside his soul
for years. I woke to write them and could
only remember alone.
He left and she
grabbed a banjo from a tree—
completed the song and bettered
it, besides. Something like “The Passionate Shepherd”
but blue, which the Impressionists
knew to put a touch of in every shadow.
Cut to: the sprung-open backs of a dozen watches.
I didn’t fix the hands of clocks I could have moved.
The bells and cuckoo birds,
the dancing German ladies
with their aprons and their steins
throughout the day. And anyway,
I’ve learned naught if I haven’t learned not
to tell anyone when he or she
has appeared in a dream—
he or she never takes it the right way.
It does all sound unseemly, I admit—especially the horse, which I’ll get to.
Though I do want to ask—I guess
it’s less of a question, more of a comment—
if the song or the honey skips
a generation, the same as twins
or a quick temper?
Before the dream I was thinking of the horse
who bit the cowboy so you could see straight
through to his skull.
The horse that won’t be broken isn’t a romantic
story—it’s a shame and ends
with the horse hurting
a human then being put down.
Damned if I don’t worry that the horse is a mirror,
like the trainer says. Damned if I’m too afraid to push myself
out even so far as my own dream.
I only have two tools:
attention and inattention.
just for show.
But credit where it’s due:
that banjo in the tree was a nice touch, subconscious,
a real lucky break.