spring love noise and all [excerpt]
but i wondered what i would talk about because
here in southern california youre never really sure when
spring begins i mean the experience of spring the
vernal equinox is one thing but spring is something else
and ive been living out here twenty years and i cant
always tell when its spring
my guess is it comes on some time
in late february and you hardly notice it a few branch
ends turn yellow a few wildflowers begin to sprout an
occasionally different bird appears and you figure it
might as well be spring
now thats a little different from springs i
remember where i came from in the east when its spring
boy are you ready for it if you lived in new york
city or upstate new york about 130 miles north of the city
the way you'd know spring was coming was that around the
end of march you'd hear rolls of thunder or cannonades that
would mean the ice was breaking on the river you'd say gee
it must be spring the ice is breaking on the river and it
was like a series of deep distant drum rolls
brrrrrrrrrrmbrrrrrrrrrrrm and you didn't feel much
better about it because the sky was still gray and cold
and the trees were still bare
in fact you felt better in january because the snow
seemed to keep you warm especially when the temperature got
down around zero and the snow was piled up around the house
and along the roadside because after every snow the snow
ploughs would clear out the road and pile up the snow along
the roadside into a wall from six to ten feet high that
would shield the houses from the wind and you'd shovel out a
pathway to the street but inside it was warm and pretty
much everybody in this little town of north branch felt
insulated and warm and pretty good in january as long as the
heating fuel held out and they didn't feel too bad in
february either
but when the spring came in march and you
heard the dull cannonade on the river thats when you
started to feel bad because it had been so cold and bare
and gray and you had been holding out so long for the
wild mustard and the goldfinches and maybe the coming of
the quince that the sound coming off the river that
seemed to promise an entry into the land of the hearts
desire which you knew would take another month at least
made you feel real bad
so thats why when the spring came to north branch at
the end of march it seemed that every year two people would
hang themselves off their back porch because they couldn't
wait anymore
but there was the other side of spring and you
expected great things of it because you had read all those
marvelous sweet and jingling poems by those provençal
bullshitters waiting for spring to come so they could go out
into the fields and fuck and kill people brash and noise
poems that went on as i remember something like "oh spring is
here the birds are singing lets go out and fight some
battles and make it in the grass" in a cheerful jingling and
very overrated way
that my friend paul blackburn did the best
he could with which was to bury the jingle and jazz up the
noise a bit to make them sound a little bit like ezra
pound and a little bit like paul doing an east village macho
number and a lot better than they sound to my ears in
provençal and with poetic generosity he covered up the
banality of their vocabulary and their tedious ideas if you
could call their attitudes ideas and it all sounded so
cheerful that we thought it must have been a good idea to sit
in toulouse and welcome the spring
but dont you believe it toulouse is a dreadful
place and nobody wants to be there everyone in toulouse
would rather be in paris so if you have a choice about
the spring you dont want to spend it in toulouse
paul actually
lived there for a while and he was always running off to
paris or mallorca or to spain
but wherever you are you are likely to have this
idea of what it means for spring to come and you know how
it will come and when it will come because in your
expectations it always comes in a neat order the way
seasons do because there are exactly four of them and
they are very nicely named and there are exactly three months
in them and they very obediently follow the astronomical year
From what it means to be avant-garde. Copyright © 1993 by David Antin. Reprinted with permission of New Directions Publishing Corporation.