The meanest trick I ever knew

Was one I know you never do.

I saw a Goop once try to do it,

And there was nothing funny to it.

He pulled a chair from under me

As I was sitting down; but he

Was sent to bed, and rightly, too.

It was a horrid thing to do!

 

Table Manners

The Goops they lick their fingers,

   And the Goops they lick their knives;

They spill their broth on the tablecloth--

   Oh, they lead disgusting lives!

The Goops they talk while eating,

   And loud and fast they chew;

And that is why I'm glad that I

   Am not a Goop--are you?