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About this poet

Chanda Feldman is the author of Approaching the Fields (Lousiana State University Press, 2018). The recipient of a Promise Award from the Sustainable Arts Foundation and a Wallace Stegner Fellowship at Stanford University, she was a visiting assistant professor of creative writing at Oberlin College in Ohio from 2017 to 2018.

 

 

In the Mirror

Mornings my father wiped a circle clean in the mirror steam,
a towel wrapped around his waist, his face lathered
with a pale gold powder mix from his porcelain mug.

A shaving blade scraping against his jaw, then dipped
in the sink. His wax kit and scissors laid out for his moustache.
Some mornings, I rummaged in his closet, past the suits,

the camouflage vest—its elastic slots for rifle shells—
his army jacket, a dashiki, for the checkered shirts my mother sewed
for him long ago. On the floor were his racked shoes

that I polished, the bag of toothbrushes and cotton cloths
I used for buffing between the stitches of his Johnston & Murphy’s.
Whenever he was fitted for a suit, I accompanied him,

examined his sleeve, the subtle woven colors
in the wool’s weave as my father stood in the trifold mirror,
its infinite reflections of him. I wore his old ties

with ankle-length skirts and combat boots. I watched
as he wrapped a half Windsor knot and slipped it
over my head, cinched it closed at my neck. After school,

I stacked cordwood beside him in the yard, worked
the weed whacker, the chain saw, and he let me sip
from his double shot of Jack. Chamber music on the stereo,

we’d grill in the backyard, sit through dusk’s mosquitoes,
fireflies, June bugs, and moths. I didn’t know my own
strength, my father said to convince me my hands

were as good as his—that time passing me the garden hoe
to cut a chicken snake sprawled on the warm floor
of our garage—that I was the best son or daughter he could have.

Copyright © 2017 Chanda Feldman. Used with permission of the author. This poem originally appeared in The Southern Review, Summer 2017.

Copyright © 2017 Chanda Feldman. Used with permission of the author. This poem originally appeared in The Southern Review, Summer 2017.

Chanda Feldman

Chanda Feldman is the author of Approaching the Fields, forthcoming from Lousiana State University Press in spring 2018.

by this poet

poem
At the county extension service in the old downtown,
I spent after-school hours in my mother’s office—
the green-glass building next to the city farmers’ market

held in the parking lot each week—the entrance lined
with dark-stained oak cabinets, quarts
of tomatoes, the perfectly suspended fruit-flesh

in red