Once Barbie Chang worked on a
     street named Wall

once she sprinkled her yard with
     timed water once

she wore lanyards in large rooms
     all the chairs

pointed in the direction of one
     speaker and a podium

once she stood up at the end to
     leave but everyone

else stood up and began putting
     their hands together

and that started her always wanting
     something better

Barbie Chang got her hair done for
     the school auction

she was afraid sick of the Circle since
     she heard of their

shopping for matching dresses so out
     of the nest she flew

into the auction thinking she could
     outmaneuver her

loneliness thinking she could overcome
     being classified thinking

she could be an agent of her own
     classification in came

the Circle dunk tossing coins at baskets
     one in pink one in

green one in orange one in purple
     matching floral

barrettes glowing like a rainbow that
     seemed low enough

to reach to touch Barbie Chang would
     never admit it but

she still wanted the rainbow to rain on
     her to wear bows in her

hair that meant she belonged somewhere
     else she owed it to

her children to make friends to blend
     into the dead end

Barbie Chang loves Evites Paperless
     Party Posts that host her

ego patch her holes she puts barrettes
     on her heart so other

people will see her will hear her her
     heart is made of hay is

disturbingly small held in it cage she
     is never late when invited

always ready for mimesis ready to put
     on her costume to

drink mimosas her heart smells like
     moth balls jumps at

every broth bell her heart growls more
     each day she trims it with

a number two it’s messy work missing
     her aorta by a little bit

her heart is always sort of bleeding she is
     always waiting for

invitations once she heard the Circle
     planning a birthday party

for a daughter she stationed herself
     sipped water for days

waiting for the Evite leaving her Kindle
     on as a nightlight it

glowed a blue garden on the ceiling she
     let her guard down it

never made a ringing sound when you
     brush a child’s hair the

mother can also feel the pain she heard
     the ice skating party

was a hit little girls going in figure
     eights their breath

coming out in clouds shaped like
     little white hearts

How alone Barbie Chang’s mother
     must have felt doing

nothing but dying her mother actually
     stopped dying her hair

in January stopped being an actuary
     for her money she

must have known her time was limited
     did the diseased birch

tree know they were going to cut it down
     how quickly the air

around it filled in the space it does no
     good to know a mother’s

face who would have known that a 
     mother’s face could

be erased too at some point we are all
     eliminated from this

earth at some point most of us give birth
     at some point we lose

a mother at some point we are all
     disappointments who

can’t possibly care for others when
     our mothers die we

are all lost and there are no words for
     it some want to

name us as grieving others wrongly
     name us heroes

If you are     like me and can     only see the horizon

that unreachable     don’t know that want     sheds and

grows and     sheds and     grows     please don’t

keep trying               the outline     is fine find a closer

aisle  pull the cans and boxes     from the shelves  so

you can   eat   so you can feed on likeness     anything

is possible but   the possible isn’t always     foldable

it’s okay to not spin the     diamond   that begs for your

finger it’s okay to   reach   behind you   allow your clothes

to   snag onto   air   to hide in   time    to exist in

the stars  to believe that awards   signify   nothing it is

okay to watch the birds in the   ficus tree clutter  the

branches each season   leave    their waste   and let

your hands be     hands    and the   wings be   wings