Lawless Pantoum

Men are legally allowed to have sex with animals,

as long as the animals are female.

Having sexual relations with a male animal

is taboo and punishable by death.

As long as the fish are female

saleswomen in tropical fish stores are allowed to go topless.

Adultery is punishable by death

as long as the betrayed woman uses her bare hands to kill her husband.

Saleswomen in tropical fish stores are allowed to go topless,

but the gynecologist must only look at a woman’s genitals in a mirror.

The woman uses her bare hands to kill her husband,

then his dead genitals must be covered with a brick.   

The gynecologist must only look at a woman’s genitals in a mirror

and never look at the genitals of a corpse—

these genitals must be covered with a brick.

The penalty for masturbation is decapitation.

A look at the genitals of a corpse

will confirm that not much happens in that region after death.

The penalty for masturbation is decapitation.

It is illegal to have sex with a mother and her daughter at the same time.

To confirm what happens during sex,

a woman’s mother must be in the room to witness her daughter’s deflowering,

though it is illegal to have sex with a mother and her daughter at the same time.

It is legal to sell condoms from vending machines as long as

a woman’s mother is in the room to witness her daughter’s deflowering.

Men are legally allowed to have sex with animals—

why it’s even legal to sell condoms from vending machines, as long as

everyone’s having sexual relations with a male animal.